When will we actually grow up?

[baka_na_haha]

Or is the better question: Will we actually grow up?

Having both my parents die has made me realize that now I am supposed to be The Grown Up. However, as Jim and I were standing at Warren's father's shiva, we looked at each other and tried to figure out what we were supposed to do. As has happened hundreds of times before, we discussed how we still didn't feel like grown-ups and had no idea of how we were supposed to behave, what we were supposed to wear, etc. Jim, of course, had the answer: this is simply as grown up as we are going to get. If we are not grown up by now, it's just not going to happen.


This is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, my kids have been telling me that I'm de-evolving and they seem to think that's ok. However, it might be nice to at least have the option of being a grown up from time to time. After all, if we are now the Older Generation, doesn't somebody have to be grown up? Or can we skip a generation and just pass the Adult Role directly onto our kids?

I'm mystified. I expected this to happen at 21, then after I got married, then after I had kids. Nothing!

Sun, Oct. 23:
J - 10
B - 8

Mon, Oct. 24:
J - 8
B - 8

Tues, Oct. 25:
J - 4
B - 5

Comments

[baka-na-haha.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're ok - but "one of the worst nights of my life" still sounds pretty bad. Actually, your comment about wanting more adult-ish wisdom last night helps put things into perspective. I may feel like a kid when it comes to issues like what is expected in certain situations, but I can feel downright wise when it comes to dealing with lots of emotional issues. And that's tons more important to me than wearing the right thing or using the right fork (which is probably why I never learned those things in the first place). And that type of wisdom isn't necessarily a product of age at all. In fact, my own kids (and some of their friends - yourself included) can be incredibly wise and helpful when dealing with tough life issues.

Also, that guiding hand can often be found in many places. Sometimes a non-parent adult can be pretty helpful - so, if you ever need to talk, let me know (ok, so I am a bit concerned even though you said not to worry). Or (if that sounds too parent-like) X is often amazingly perceptive and good to talk to - and he has the advantage of being on AIM at all hours of the day and night.

That said, I do trust you and will try to take you at your word that everything's ok, so I won't worry too much. However, I am sorry to hear that you had to go through such a rough night. Youth is definitely not for the weak of heart . . .

[krint01.livejournal.com]

Youth really isn't for the week of heart. In particular, when you learn that your ex-girlfriend was in fact cheating on you for months on end. It was such a bad last night because I became angrier than I knew I was capable of being. And it wasn't like I got violent or anything, it was just this feeling of dark emptiness and wanting to pound everyone's skull in.

It's still with me to some smaller extent. I'm sure I'll be ok eventually.

And yes, X is very helpful.

[baka-na-haha.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are having to go through all this! And, believe it or not, I can totally relate to what you are going through. My sophomore year at college may have been centuries ago, but I can remember the feelings (and the pain) as vividly as if it was yesterday. I had an extremely tumultuous relationship that put me through an emotional wringer.

Yes, you will be ok eventually, but that doesn't make it any easier now. If you are anything like me, you will remember last night forever - and I think that's ok. Zan is fond of quoting "That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger". I tend to agree, especially when it comes to feelings. You deserve better, and I'm sure you will find it. But, in the meantime, boy, can life hurt!

Hang in there!